On this trip, I was able to check off three, yes three, of my biggies on “My Bucket List.” It was a spectacular trip! And, it was more than just the trip or the place, God was speaking to my heart the whole way. In fact, He is still teaching me lessons from Italy and we have been home a week! Just today, He taught me another lesson as I opened my laptop! REALLY! Well, stick with me….

Before I left for Italy, I was on stress overload. I was hoping that Italy would be my “catch-up” time. Well, OBVIOUSLY I had never travelled abroad, much less to Italy. Ha! Italy was perfect for my stress overload. I was forced to getaway, refresh, renew, unplug, and make sweet memories. It was incredible. In fact, I am forever changed from my trip to Italy–more on that in a bit.

BUT! I got NOTHING done.

Nothing.

All of those outlines, the research, and preparation are still there in my iPad–untouched…COMPLETELY. I didn’t get to work on any of my editing, writing, and definitely not any of my websites and web projects that are long, long, long overdue. Oh, let’s open up that iPad and give you a complete glimpse inside–I didn’t even get to watch the long list of movies and TV shows or read any of the new books on my Kindle app that I downloaded for the long flight.

Nope! I was as unplugged as I guess I could handle without getting stressed out–there was a period of 48 hours that I had NO INTERNET, NO EMAIL, NO TEXTING that was beginning to test me and I am so glad it was the last 48 hours of the trip.

Unplugged.

Well, except for only a few emergency emails and updates on Facebook so my family would not worry (and so they could kind of “take the trip” with me through photographs). Just those things ate up my battery charge for the day and the internet time I was allotted.

This was SO good for me!

I needed this getaway. It was just perfect! I got the perfect amount of rest, the perfect amount of romance (Well, I could always stand more of that but this was VENICE so you can imagine that I am just a romance-addict if I wanted more!!!), the perfect amount of going, the perfect amount of socialization (and new awesome friends!), the perfect amount of planning, the perfect amount of exercise, and even the perfect amount of Italian food, even Gelato (REALLY–I lost 7.5lbs!!).

Of course, that life-changing lesson that I mentioned earlier is what was really perfect and right on time.

Go back to when that lesson began. Right before the trip, I was on stress overload. Not really because of my calendar, which has been a problem before but I am always watching out for this one. Not really because of my mind, which has a tendency to take things way too serious and get way too analytical for my own good. It was not even because I was not managing stress well. It was all of the STUFF hitting me.

I did well. Looking back, I am amazed that I am not sitting in the corner somewhere rocking myself. That month before the trip was one of my all-time most stressful months ever. If you look at the list of life-stressers, I had almost all of them going on in the course of one month. SCARY! But, the hardest part was not all of the change, letting go, keeping on moving forward, feeling mushy (ALL OF THE TIME), it was the little things that just kept on pushing me when I was needing to get a grip on my totally new normal!

Have the little things? Of course!

That is what I noticed just a few minutes ago when I turned on the computer for the day. Well, first let me go back to my lesson…

Again, before the trip, I think the stress could best be pictured as a hurricane. Growing up in South Mississippi, I KNOW hurricanes. The devastation can come from the hurricane as a whole, but normally it is the little things that bring the most devastation–the floods, the tornadoes, the hail, the winds. In fact, when you are smack-dab-in-the-middle of the hurricane, things can seem very peaceful.

This is where I was as my husband began Law School, my daughter got married and moved to South Dakota with her husband (GO AIR FORCE!), our house was hit by a storm (still have the tree on the house), and on and on (this does not touch the list of things going on that month). It was not any of the big things that were stressing me out. I am very accustomed to life and having to roll with the flow. What was wearing away at me was all of the “life clutter” that was wearing away at me. The little things. The little crisis situations. The melt-downs (not by me or those I would expect). The constant push and pull. The messes everywhere SEEMING to need me to fix them.

Feel my pain?

Felt this yourself?

They were the things that were stressing me out.

I could not clearly see what was really bothering me in the midst of the storm. I just gave it all to the Lord. I know that is always the best thing to do, but it was a bit different. I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t know what else TO DO. I knew that He would take care of everything and give me a peace that He had given sooo many other times before. And, He did. Well, along with a big lesson that I am not going to forget very easily.

Ready for that lesson?

If I want to live the life of my dreams, I am going to have to get rid of the little distractions, annoyances, stresses that are stealing away time, energy, focus, and clarity.

Things went on without me. This means two things:

1. If I can cut out as much as possible, I will have more time, energy, focus, and clarity to truly step up to the call God has for me.

2. These little things are stealing away more than just my calling, they are stealing away MY LIFE.

God has already been asking me for MONTHS to evaluate all that I do in the light of whether it is really important, vital, eternal. He has been asking me whether my options were trash, trinkets, or treasures. I have been getting that lesson down deep into the “crooks and crannies” of my heart and mind. The problem was in how to clean up things so that I don’t have so many distractions and little stresses. THAT is the part of the lesson that I want to share with you.

IF we are going to be able to work with focus, clarity, and intention, we MUST get rid of these crazy stresses in our lives–the little things. Oh! We might think that we can handle them, but can we? Really?

Do we find ourselves always stressed out?

Do we always feel pushed, pulled, about to fall apart?

Do we wonder where our time is going ALL THE TIME?

Do we wonder why we are not getting around to those things to do that help us reach for our dreams?

Do we wonder why we cannot seem to live the life that we THOUGHT we could live?

The trip to Italy gave me a clarity that I have been needing for a while. I know that I cannot control the changes that come in my life. I know that seasons will come and seasons will go–I embrace that! I know that there are always going to be choices that have to be made. I am good with all of that. However, sometimes I find myself almost drowning with the life clutter and I cannot even see it for what it is. This was one of those times.

So for today, my action steps for today are:

1. Relax. Do first things first–MY FIRST THINGS! IF there is time, energy, and clarity of mind left over, THEN I will allow someone else’s FIRST THINGS into my day. If not, I will take time for ME–quiet time, time for a walk, time for a jog, time for the gym, time to bake, time to scrapbook, time for romance, or even time for a nap. Those are the things that fill me up again and give me MORE to give out tomorrow. They MUST come before crisis situations, shiny objects, melt-downs, and, definitely, BUSYNESS!

2. No more allowing the constant crisis situations to rule my schedule. (!!!!) Do you know that NOTHING absolutely HAD TO HAVE ME while I I was in Italy? NOTHING. I have got to remember what Harold says all of the time, “Someone else’s crisis does not mean that it is MY emergency.” If I want to be able to really get things done, I am going to have to keep my eyes on the mark and not get distracted so easily!

3. People DO NOT have to have ME. (Sobering huh?) Sometimes the very best thing for them is running into that wall. They NEED to come to that place that I have come sooo often–where only God will do. That is my greatest secret to success. THAT is what I really want to teach others with my websites, my blogs, my books, my teachings, and even my social networks. He IS the best teacher, the best mentor, the best comforter, the best shepherd. There will be times that He will use me. However, I can rest, relax, and pull away without fear that life on the planet will unravel without me. HELLO!

4. Yes. I CAN turn off the computer for more than one day–not answering emails as they come in! TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH–but the 48 hours of being blacked-out showed me that life does go on without me and I can always say I am sorry–however, I cannot get back what really matters if I miss it! No. I will not go out of business just because I go out of town or take a break. (My systems like my shopping cart, autoresponders, and WordPress are made for things like this!) I think that my biggest thing to do right now is to regularly UNPLUG. When I do, if there are things that blow up and go crazy, then THOSE are things that I need to troubleshoot so I can find systems or maybe even help/helpers that will fill that void regularly–who knows, maybe even daily. What WOULD it be like if I could simplify to such a level that I can really stick to only the things that really matter? Just HOW productive COULD I BE??? Hummm….

5. All of those offers on the internet (or mail) are not what I need TODAY or probably any time soon. And, enough is enough! I can unsubscribe from all of this extra email, miss a few webinars, and de-stress! I can also save up my money and invest it into what I really need NEXT. Noble thought, huh?

Yes. This trip had an incredible impact in my life. It is SO worth every penny we spent going away. It is SO worth the time we spent preparing to go. It taught me a life-lesson that is already impacting every area of my life–to UNPLUG.

Just UNPLUG!

I will be unplugging more and more so I can live the life of my dreams because TODAY IS THE DAY!

What are YOUR action steps today?

What will you do today so you can truly live the life of your dreams–TODAY????

–> Be sure to slow down and have a quiet time EACH DAY! Take time for God to fill YOUR cup each day. Let Him give you HIS peace, order, and best of all, schedule! Take time to hear HIS plans for your day. Throughout the day, listen to His gentle direction. Be sure that you are willing to let go of the things that God wants to prune away. Without this, all else is only a band-aid!

–> Invest in a Planner! I am the world’s worst at trying to do it all while trying desperately to remember those incredible details that are doomed to slip my brain! I decided to take a long, honest look at the things that were creating chaos. Most often, the biggest culprit was overcommitment or an underestimate of time involved with commitments. Writing down ALL commitments, along with an honest look at the time commitment involved (even going and coming OR planning the details around that commitment!), has made an indescribable impact on my life! Not to mention, another breeder of chaos in my life was constantly looking for information that needed to be in a dependable place like phone numbers, ordering information, etc. Keeping ONE binder with my information included eliminates the chaos, but it does even more! It gives my brain a rest!

–> Evaluate to find the BEST that God has designed for YOU to do! Sure, there are many “little things” that must be done to manage our homes, but if you are really struggling with balance, discipline yourself to write down everything that you are doing for a little while. Pray over the importance of each and every thing. Time is so very precious. God gives us everything that we need to do all that He has designed for us to do, but He will not anoint those things that will choke out His best for our lives. So, really pray through…think through…weigh out everything. Listen to God for HIS goals for you. Prune those things that are not in line with His goals for you. Get rid of any time wasters. Prioritize every activity, every day! Combine activities that can be done together to make the most of time. Delegate those things that others can do to help you be a good steward of your time. Then, make the most of your time doing the very best things that God has designed for you to do!

–> Write IT down! Yep! Give your brain a break! This may seem to compound your problem, but trust me this will help more than you know! It is NOT another thing to do! Rather, once things are written down, the work is done FOR you! For example, keeping a calendar of events in your planner will help to alleviate conflicts in your schedule. Blocking off plenty of time for each entry will help you to give yourself enough margin left over for LIFE! I may live less than five miles from downtown, but if there is an appointment there, I KNOW to give myself 30 minutes to get there! Also, I cannot tell you how much my lists from years ago are beginning to really help me! I have lists for school lessons, shopping, traveling, producing the magazines, speaking, etc. I may have to add to my generic list, but I cannot tell you how many times my lists have helped me to be sure that NOTHING was left out or forgotten. Plus, now the planning process is simplified. I just pull out my list, go over the list, add anything that is missing, and get busy! Several of my lists are typed into my computer, ready to print. Talk about EASY planning! Find ways that you can simplify what you are doing—writing it down will probably be one of your first steps too!

–> Keep your STUFF ready to use! Whether your planner or your purse or even your Bible/journal for church, get things together and in their special spot, ready to go. I have a tote that includes all of the things that I need for Church. I keep it together, ready to go. Our school books stay in a milk crate (one for each child), ready to use at the table or to grab for our trips with the business. Everything that we need is ready at all times. My planner stays at my chair, ready to grab to leave the house. So on. Decide on what you need for planning, church, homeschooling, or your business. Get everything together. Find its very best spot for it to be easy to use, but not in the way or forgotten. You will be surprised at how much stress this will alleviate!

–> Put limits on your day! For years, I battled the different aspects of my day that tend to become monsters! Funny thing, I have never seen my family life ever become one of those monsters. My sweetheart and my children are so much more patient than my nasty kitchen! Memories will always wait for schoolwork to be completed. Laughter will always let the business monster rant and rage! The best (but most difficult) lesson of my life to date was that if I wanted the legacy that God had planned for me, then I had to diligently guard the different aspects of life. I had to consciously purpose to make memories and build relationships with those I love much, much more than a clean house or thriving business or successful homeschool. A whole day can zoom by just on the internet with the business…or working through our lessons…or even re-organizing a closet. Plus, those things wear me down till I am completely zapped! Oh, and then, I am not the nicest person on earth! (ouch—confessions hurt!) While these things are precious and wonderful in their boundaries, I have to CONSTANTLY place limits to insure that we have a balanced life that makes the most of each day AND builds a legacy.

Need MORE Help?

Check out Cindy’s New Organized Mom Super Set! It is full of great ebooks and audios that will help take you by the hand and plan the best homeschool year ever! Plus! When you purchase your set you get MORE help with record-keeping, organization, and setting up your home to learn–you also get access to Cindy’s Organization 911 Seminar Set and her newest Seminar Set, Let’s Get Organized for the New School Year. <

Yep! Both! Complimentary! Grab your set here:

http://www.organization911.com/

This show is a continuation of the show by the same title from last month. In this power-packed show, Cindy will continue in our study through Proverbs 31 on the topic of Be a Blessing. She will dig into ways that we are a blessing to our husbands and families as we step up to the call to become a godly woman. Don’t miss this one! It is going to be a super study!

Download the episode to your computer (Mp3 format)

Show Notes:

* Subscribe to the podcast RSS feed

* Talk-a-Latte Mommy Club

* Past Sets from our Talk-a-Latte Mommy Club

This week Cindy will continue in our study through Proverbs 31. She will dig into ways that we are a blessing to our husbands and families as we step up to the call to become a godly woman. Don’t miss this one! It is going to be a super study!

SPECIAL NOTE: Part Two of this topic is separate from this audio. Don’t miss it!

Download by Mp3

Click Play Above or Right-Click Here To Download

SHOW NOTES:

Marriage 911 Flight Plans
http://www.CindyRushton.com/FlightPlans.html Read more

Download By Mp3

SHOW NOTES:

See Us Online!
http://www.CindyRushton.com

http://www.CindysDesktop.com

http://www.Playmasters.info
http://www.Talk-a-Latte.com
http://www.RomanceToolbox.com

On Facebook? I am! Find me here:
http://www.facebook.com/Cindy.Rushton

AND! I am on Twitter!
http://twitter.com/cindyrushton

Download By Mp3

SHOW NOTES:

See Us Online!
http://www.CindyRushton.com

http://www.CindysDesktop.com

http://www.Playmasters.info
http://www.Talk-a-Latte.com
http://www.RomanceToolbox.com

On Facebook? I am! Find me here:
http://www.facebook.com/Cindy.Rushton

AND! I am on Twitter!
http://twitter.com/cindyrushton

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and wer not ashamed.”

What a beautiful picture of God’s provision for man!

God had literally given Adam the whole world but He knew that was “not good” because man was still alone. So, in great provision, God created a “helpmeet” suitable for Adam. Not a helper to work in the garden for Adam so he could spend his days playing golf (or hunting!). Not a door mat to walk upon! Instead, God provided Adam with a “helpmeet” with a very special purpose of being the completer of Adam!

What is a Helpmeet?

Help in its verb form means “to aid or supply that which the individual cannot provide for himself–conveying the idea of aiding someone in need.”

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines helper as “one who helps (gives assistance, strength, promotes, delivers from difficulties or distress, advances a purpose, relief, to contribute strength or means, aids or assists, furnishes or administers a remedy, one who supplies with anything wanted.”

Meet comes from the Hebrew word meaning,  “opposite… according to opposite of him, meaning that she will complement and correspond to him, she is to be equal to and adequate for the man.”

The meaning of this is also deepened in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, correspond: “to suit, to answer; to agree; to fit; to be adapted to; to be equal; to be adequate or proportioned.”

A Helpmeet is to provide what is needed or lacking. She is fit for her husband. She is suitable for him. She is adapted for him and she is adapted to him. She is compatible to him. God created her for his companion, his partner!

Look at the various ways that we come alongside of our husbands as their helpmeet…

The Praying Helpmeet…

A helpmeet is marked by a life of prayer. She will pray for her man! I am not talking about a simple little “God bless him” prayers, I mean earnest, continual, unceasing prayer. Prayer with a burdened heart until you “pray through” for him. Committing to fast and pray for different needs in his life. So often, more time is spent grumbling and complaining about one fault in our husbands than we spend in prayer for them in a whole year! A helpmeet will be busy praying and fasting for her man.

Let’s do a check–up:
–>  Do you pray earnestly, continually, and unceasingly for him?
–>  When was the last time that you prayed about a problem of his until it was answered?
–>  Do you care enough about his struggles, his dreams, his concerns, and his desires to pray and fast for God’s answers?
–>  Do you take your concerns to the Lord or try to handle them yourself?
–>  Would your husband call you a woman of prayer?
–>  Can he depend on
you to be praying for him?

May we commit to become a praying help meet today!

The Supportive Help Meet…

A few years ago, my husband and I were talking about the needs of men as I was preparing for my book “Hidden Woman.” (Due to be released very soon.) It was very interesting that his first response to the needs of men was that they needed three things…prayer, encouragement and support.

Wow! He went on to share other things…which are the outline of this article (and the book) but he felt that he could not withstand the demands of his job in Law Enforcement or now the demands of his business if those three ingredients were not primary in our relationship.

I agree here on this one! Our husbands’ heartbeats must by our heartbeats. We must really believe in them when the going gets tough! We must purpose to stand beside him EVEN when we have a different plan, or shall I say, ESPECIALLY when we have a different plan. This support must be unconditional too–not based on our moods or their performance.

To check up on this area, ask yourself…
–>  Do you really care about things that are important to him (his job or hobbies or dreams or concerns or his heart’s desires)?
–>  Does your spirit motivate your husband to be the true leader in your marriage or do you just “take over” when you think he can’t do it himself?
–>  Do you trust in his ability to handle decisions and provide for ALL your needs?
–>  Does he know that you are on his side?
–>  Does he feel your support or does he feel all alone?

Oh, sweet friend! Purpose to be that support structure that he can lean upon as he walks his Christian walk!

The Help Meet Who Respects Her Husband…

The area of respect is the area in which many women unknowingly begin to hurt their husbands. As a result, many begin to destroy their own home in the process. Instead, let’s become like the Proverbs 31 woman and create even more respect for him! Proverbs 31: 23…”Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”
Respect for our husbands begins at home. They should be fully confident that we would never harm them with our tongues or attitudes. Trust me, if you ever say anything bad about your husband everyone will immediately get their little evil minds going and think 100 times worse than you are saying. Be real careful about this. Our husbands deserve our loyalty in this area. If others see that you honor and respect your husband, they will too.

OK, check yourself in this area…
–>  How do you speak to your husband?
–>  What about your attitude, what does it say?
–>  Do you roll your eyes…act disinterested in what he says…do you correct him the whole time he is talking?
–>  How do you speak about him…Praise? Complain? Whine? Admire?

Make it your ambition to be like the Proverbs 31 woman by creating respect for that darling man!

A Helpmeet Admires Her Man…

I heard a message not long ago by Denny Kenaston in which he said, “Every man should know what it is like to be a king! He ought to be a king in his own home!”

Well, what is it like in your home…is your husband king? We ought to have our days wrapped around things which bless him. We should admire Him exceedingly. Esteem him. Respect him highly. We will get much, much farther with our husbands with admiration than with nagging, comparing, complaining or whining. We will find them drawing near to us as we treat them with the respect that God created them to need.

Yes, God wants our marriages to be a picture of the church’s relationship with King Jesus.

So, how are you doing…
–>  Is your husband the “King of His Castle?”
–>  Do your actions and words show admiration, esteem, and respect?
–>  Do you stop what you are doing to listen to him?
–>  Do you create an atmosphere of excitement about Dad coming home?
–>  Do you treat him like you would KING JESUS?

The Love of a Help Meet…

I know, I have finally gotten to a “given” on this point…of course, we LOVE our husbands? RIGHT? Well, I am afraid if it were always that easy the Bible would not have commanded that the older women teach the younger women HOW to love their husbands. We must learn how to really love our husbands.

True love is loving them unconditionally–EVEN when they do not perform as we might want. It is pouring our whole life into him–making HIM great. Honoring his wishes. Pouring our whole life into loving him. Oh, how much tougher–it will take purifying our hearts to fill this great need.

I Peter 3 says that it is the conversation, manner of our life, that will win them over. This requires that we focus on KNOWING God, becoming conformed to the image of Christ, and becoming holy. As we purify our hearts, we will find his heart changing into a heart seeking after us!

What about it dear friends? How are you doing?
–>  Do you miss him while he is away?
–>  Do you willingly do what he asks?
–>  Do you honor his wishes even when he would never know?
–>  Do you revolve your life around him?
–>  Do you love unconditionally?
–>  Is your heart pure?
–>  Are you purposing become like Christ or are you too busy trying to help God conform your husband to your standard of LIKE CHRIST?

Let’s purpose to become our husband’s helpmeet by surrendering ALL to God…waiting on God to do the work necessary in our husband’s lives…becoming our husbands’ friend as they step heavenward…never slipping into the flesh by trying to MAKE our husbands into our idea of what God wants!

The Encouragement of a Help Meet…

This was another one of those biggies that my husband shared with me that was vital for him to be successful. I have to agree. Boy, this one is important!

I see those fears that no one else sees. I see those struggles that no one else could ever imagine were there. I feel the pain that is just quietly aching. That is why God gave me that extra dose of encouragement just to help him!
Your husbands are no different! Let’s encourage them to fulfill their goals, to reach for their dreams, and to go where God is leading. Let us be faithful to encourage them with our prayers and let them know that we have been praying for him. Let’s seek God for HIS WORD for them and encourage them with scripture. It is always a blessing to get a copy of the scripture that God has given you to encourage him. Psalm 37 was a special gem that God gave me when my husband was going through a very difficult time. It was an encouragement to know just how God sees things and how He works! This is so encouraging for our husbands when they know that we care enough to go to God on their behalf, to seek God’s Word of encouragement just for them. It really shows them that that their struggles are our struggles. As you see him struggle, write notes of encouragement or even love letters about his strengths that you admire.   Let him know that you are with him, cheering him on all along the way. And, never underestimate the power of hugs! They are always an encouragement!

So, how do you do in this area?
–>  Are you praying for your husband’s struggles?
–>  Are you God’s vessel of encouragement for your husband?
–>  Do you share special gems from scripture with your husband?
–>  Does your husband ever hear what you like about him?
–>  What does your husband think of when he thinks of you–she is happy to be my wife, she has faith in me, she needs me, or she would rather do her own thing, she doesn’t have to have me, all I am is a paycheck…I can’t please her?

The Helpmeet Promotes Her Man…

What is the real difference between the feminist and the Christian Help Meet? I think it is WHO is built up and promoted.

The help meet can get her fulfillment in God’s design for her life–His purpose. The help meet can forget self and forward her husband. Advance her husband. Contribute to his growth, enlargement, or excellence by knowing that it is really how we are most fulfilled. She values him. She exalts him. She elevates him. She raises him up before herself.

How are you doing?
–>  Which are you busy promoting…yourself? The kids? Or you’re darling husband?
–>  Are you willing to take the back seat as you forward and advance your husband’s call?
–>  Are you willing to set aside all your own dreams to help him pursue his?
–>  Are you ready to change your plans to go along with his?
–>  Are you willing to pour all of your gifts, strengths, wisdom, etc…ALL into pushing him into the front?
–>  Are you willing to be a hidden woman?

The Helpmeet Affirms Her Man…

Have you ever-paid attention to men? I think that they all have a great need to have that one person who affirm their manhood–their leadership abilities, their masculinity, their sexuality.

Be the one to comfort any of your man’s insecurities. Let him be your hero. Let him know that no one else can take his place. Make him firm- steady, fixed, constant, stable, unshaken, not easily moved, solid, not giving way.

Establish Him as a leader. To establish is to settle or fix what is wavering, doubtful or weak, to make good. Submission will establish him. Through your submission, he will take leadership and will be strong, unwavering, sure, and strong. Affirm him by being loyal to him. Be loyal even when he makes mistakes, when he is facing difficulties, when he is suffering, when he is excited.

How well do you affirm your husband?
–>  Does he know that you appreciate him as a man?
–>  Does he believe that you cannot live without him?
–>  Do you really need him?
–>  Are you encouraging his leadership? –>  Are you surrendered to his leadership?
–>  Are you loyal to him?

The Inspirational Help Meet…

Harold and I met and began to date in my senior year of high school. We married young only 1-1/2 years after we began dating. I guess that the area of inspiring our husbands to greatness is very important because I can look back and see how much it has meant in our life. Harold did not decide to go into law enforcement until 3 1/2 years after we met. I knew he could do anything. This is what our men need! In fact, that was not the only time that Harold needed for me to believe in him, I remember how scary it was for him to leave the “security” of his job with the state to follow God home, all the way home to begin his own business. It was tough. Of course, I never doubted for one moment that he could do and do it SUCCESSFULLY.

Our husbands need for us to believe in them and inspire them to go for their dreams. They need for us to inspire them to absolute greatness. Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines inspire as “the infusion of ideas or direction.” This definition helps us to see our role very seriously.

We should be encouraging them to have ideas, goals, and dreams. We should be the first one to encourage and embrace his ideas, goals, and dreams. Sweet friend, have a vision for all that God calls him to do. Often this is the little spark that they need to really know that they can do what they dream of doing.

How do you know if you are doing OK in this area?
–>  Do you believe that your husband is really great?
–>  Can God use you to share direction with your husband?
–>  Do you encourage your
husband to have ideas, goals, and dreams?
–>  Do you lovingly embrace his ideas or beat him down?
–>  Have you ever really seen God’s Vision for your husband’s life?

Why not create that spark?

The Challenge of a Help Meet…

In so many marriages the only challenge that a man might get is when he is doing something he believes in and the wife does not like it! Yuck! I am not talking about that being the kind of challenge of a godly help meet. A godly helpmeet can challenge her husband spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Take a peek at 1 Peter 3:1-2…

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (manner of life!) of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

Yes, this kind of challenge spiritually is not the nagging, fussing, complaining, whining, bossing that so many women use to BE the Holy Spirit for their husbands. Instead it is becoming godly yourself, allowing him time to spend alone with God with out becoming jealous, and letting GOD deal with any  disobedience in your husband’s life. This means that we dare to be the REAL DEAL. It means that our faith inspires them to step heavenward. It means that instead of being a stumbling block for them, we become a stepping stone–being that person that inspires them to grasp on to all that Christ died to give them.

The mental challenge comes in as we purpose to know our husbands. Not just know about them, but this means getting to KNOW them. Becoming a student of them and their life. This includes getting to know what he does for a living so that you can understand his job/business AND so you can understand his struggles along the way. This means taking interest in his hobbies enough to “talk” about them. It means that we get to know about current events so we can carry on a decent conversation with them. This means staying sharp!

The physical challenge comes as we challenge them to stay fit and healthy. We influence their health in so many ways–in what we prepare for them to eat, in how active we stay as a family, and in making time and priority as a family to hit the gym. We can make it easy OR very, very difficult for them to stay fit and healthy. Our call is to challenge them to stay fit and healthy.

What kind of challenge are you?
–>  Do you challenge him to be godly or do you chase him away from God?
–>  Do you keep yourself so close to God so he can respect your godliness?
–>  Do you know about things he is interested in?
–>  Are you stimulating?

The Honor of a Help Meet…

I will never forget the influence of my husband’s grandmother who became my best friend until she died. Her marriage relationship was a model of what I believe God wants for us in our homes. She was an honor to her husband. Others would make demands of her but it was Papaw’s wishes she always honored in spite of her desire. It may have been actually her fault that these Rushton men are so spoiled because she showered her husband with attention and all these guys think that all women should do the same. I watched her and began to see a model of honor that we could all follow. Her honor for her husband set her marriage apart.

Create excitement about them. Wrap your day around them. Do special things-bake cookies, etc. to surprise Daddy. Pray for him with your children- for his safety, his courage, his ability to minister to others, for his wisdom in making decisions, for his health, etc. Lift  up your husband before others–especially your children and other young women!

Remember Titus 2:3-5? You cannot teach others to honor and love their husbands any better way than by your example. It is an ornament for you to honor him with your words and attitudes and actions. It is SO UGLY for you to tear him down and that is SO easy to do. Remember that honor is not based on performance, but on position. Treat him like you would treat Jesus. Our homes hurt from a lack of honor. Satan chips away at the home and the  man when we talk about them or rebel against them-THIS IS A LINE TO NEVER CROSS!

What about the area of honor?
–>  Are you honoring your husband as you would Christ?
–>  Are his wishes priorities?
–>  Do you create an excitement over his homecoming each day?
–>  Are you doing the little things that build HIM up?
–>  Are you wrapping everything around him?
–>  Are you being a good example for your children and other young women?

–>  Are you watching your attitude so that it does not communicate something different than what you deep-down desire?

A Challenge…

Sweet friend, I know that this article is a lot of heart surgery but where are you? How are you doing?

You are so priceless. You are so vital. Your husband NEEDS you.  Your husband needs for you to be ALL THERE.

How are you doing? Are you so busy doing everything else that you can not take the time for your sweetheart? Are you recognizing the need to build that relationship?

The good news is that God is more than willing to do that work in your life, in your marriage. He has created and equipped you to be a godly helpmeet. Today, step up to that call. You have an incredible journey ahead–I will be cheering you on all along the way!

Need more help? Don’t miss our Marriage 911 Flight Plans! Each month, we come alongside of you with a “plan” for helping you build a passionate, forever, happier-and-happier-ever-after marriage. Check out all of the details here: CLICK HERE

Tea…What comes to your mind?

As I think back over the years since that first cup of tea, I think beyond the various types of tea…the beautiful tea rooms and homes that have welcomed me for the ritual…the unique cups and teapots, each with its own story…all those details blur. But, one thing brings me back to “tea” over and over again…relationships! Relationships forged over moments shared over a cup of tea. Sweet, sweet memories that forge forever relationships.

My very first memories of tea were on the front porch, truly Southern Style with Iced Sweet Tea. There was never a meal served or a family gathering without plenty of Iced Sweet Tea. Just visiting Mamaw, I could always expect a big, tall glass of Sweet Lemon Tea whether we were working in her kitchen or swinging on the front porch enjoying her flowers and sweet conversation.

My very first cup of hot tea was typical Southern Style as well. At the end of my first year of homeschooling, I spent a wonderful day with a dear fellow homeschooler. We were preparing dresses for her to hand-smock for her youngest little girl. Her precious pre-teen came in mid-afternoon to ask if we would care for any tea. Being the TRUE Southerner that never passes up a great cup of tea, I said, “Sure!” She went on preparing tea, as was usual in her home. When she brought it out, I had to ask for directions on how to “take tea.” That moment my true love for tea was born!

Since that moment, I have developed a true passion for ANYTHING to do with tea of ANY kind! I love the different types of tea. I love the books that all share little tidbits about the fine art of tea. I love collectables that each have a story to make them more and more endearing. I love the recipes for goodies that make a nice addition to ANY day. I love the versatility of tea for all ages, all settings, all occasions. Want to see me in pure bliss? Take me to a tea room! But, most of all, I love the many sweet, sweet relationships and precious memories that have been forged over cups of tea, both hot and cold!

Tea truly meets us right where we are. If we love to collect antiques, we can’t help but to fall in love with the little dainties that are hidden away in all of the antique stores around. If we are looking for a healthy treat, none can be greater than tea! If we want to take a moment away with our children to build relationships and memories, tea is a must! If we want a perfect touch to a holiday, tea makes the day. If we want a theme for a party, tea always step forward with its touch of femininity. If we just want to minister to a friend or relative, tea ministers to their belly while “we” pour forth into their heart!

My prayer is that you will see the beauty, grace, encouragement, tradition, and fun that is awaiting you. I pray that you will find that touch of tea. I pray that you will make sweet memories with those you love the most, over a cup of tea.

So, my friend, do you hear the call beckoning to you? Take a moment, pour a hot steamy cup and come apart with me…

…it is time to make a memory over a cup of tea!

With Love, Cindy

“You prepare a table before me…my cup runs over.”
Psalms 23: 5 Amplified Bible

Ready for Tea? Let Cindy Help! Grab her best-selling book, A CUP OF TEA. Includes her easy recipes and fresh ideas for your tea-time!

A Cup of Tea

Ready for a cup of tea? Do you just LOVE tea?? This NEW book was a blast for Cindy to write. She wrote this book as a gift to Elisabeth, her daughter so she would have all of the “Family” recipes and ideas that have been part of their family traditions. Now, this is available for you and your family as well! If you are intrigued by tea and want to bring the tradition into your home, this is your book. If you want lots of recipes and ideas for tea time or even a tea unit study, this book is just what you are looking for. Even if you are looking for that perfect gift idea, this is one that you will find perfect for anyone, any age, at any time of the year.

–>    Be sure to slow down and have a quiet time EACH DAY! Take time for God to fill YOUR cup each day. Let Him give you HIS peace, order, and best of all, schedule!  Take time to hear HIS plans for your day.  Throughout the day, listen to His gentle direction.  Be sure that you are willing to let go of the things that God wants to prune away. Without this, all else is only a band-aid!

–>    Invest in a Planner! I am the world’s worst at trying to do it all while trying desperately to remember those incredible details that are doomed to slip my brain! I decided to take a long, honest look at the things that were creating chaos. Most often, the biggest culprit was overcommitment or an underestimate of time involved with commitments. Writing down ALL commitments, along with an honest look at the time commitment involved (even going and coming OR planning the details around that commitment!), has made an indescribable impact on my life! Not to mention, another breeder of chaos in my life was constantly looking for information that needed to be in a dependable place like phone numbers, ordering information, etc. Keeping ONE binder with my information included eliminates the chaos, but it does even more! It gives my brain a rest!

–>    Evaluate to find the BEST that God has designed for YOU to do! Sure, there are many “little things” that must be done to manage our homes, but if you are really struggling with balance, discipline yourself to write down everything that you are doing for a little while.  Pray over the importance of each and every thing. Time is so very precious. God gives us everything that we need to do all that He has designed for us to do, but He will not anoint those things that will choke out His best for our lives. So, really pray through…think through…weigh out everything. Listen to God for HIS goals for you.  Prune those things that are not in line with His goals for you. Get rid of any time wasters. Prioritize every activity, every day! Combine activities that can be done together to make the most of time. Delegate those things that others can do to help you be a good steward of your time. Then, make the most of your time doing the very best things that God has designed for you to do!

–>    Write IT down! Yep! Give your brain a break!  This may seem to compound your problem, but trust me this will help more than you know! It is NOT another thing to do! Rather, once things are written down, the work is done FOR you! For example, keeping a calendar of events in your planner will help to alleviate conflicts in your schedule. Blocking off plenty of time for each entry will help you to give yourself enough margin left over for LIFE! I may live less than five miles from downtown, but if there is an appointment there, I KNOW to give myself 30 minutes to get there! Also, I cannot tell you how much my lists from years ago are beginning to really help me! I have lists for school lessons, shopping, traveling, producing the magazines, speaking, etc. I may have to add to my generic list, but I cannot tell you how many times my lists have helped me to be sure that NOTHING was left out or forgotten. Plus, now the planning process is simplified.  I just pull out my list, go over the list, add anything that is missing, and get busy! Several of my lists are typed into my computer, ready to print. Talk about EASY planning! Find ways that you can simplify what you are doing—writing it down will probably be one of your first steps too!

–>    Keep your STUFF ready to use! Whether your planner or your purse or even your Bible/journal for church, get things together and in their special spot, ready to go.  I have a tote that includes all of the things that I need for Church. I keep it together, ready to go. Our school books stay in a milk crate (one for each child), ready to use at the table or to grab for our trips with the business. Everything that we need is ready at all times. My planner stays at my chair, ready to grab to leave the house. So on. Decide on what you need for planning, church, homeschooling, or your business. Get everything together. Find its very best spot for it to be easy to use, but not in the way or forgotten.  You will be surprised at how much stress this will alleviate!

–>    Put limits on your day! For years, I battled the different aspects of my day that tend to become monsters! Funny thing, I have never seen my family life ever become one of those monsters. My sweetheart and my children are so much more patient than my nasty kitchen! Memories will always wait for schoolwork to be completed. Laughter will always let the business monster rant and rage! The best (but most difficult) lesson of my life to date was that if I wanted the legacy that God had planned for me, then I had to diligently guard the different aspects of life. I had to consciously purpose to make memories and build relationships with those I love much, much more than a clean house or thriving business or successful homeschool. A whole day can zoom by just on the internet with the business…or working through our lessons…or even re-organizing a closet. Plus, those things wear me down till I am completely zapped! Oh, and then, I am not the nicest person on earth! (ouch—confessions hurt!)  While these things are precious and wonderful in their boundaries, I have to CONSTANTLY place limits to insure that we have a balanced life that makes the most of each day AND builds a legacy.

Need MORE Help?

If you need more help, don’t miss any of Cindy Rushton’s LIVE workshops that she will be teaching on these topics. She is scheduled to speak for the Ultimate Homeschool Expo 2011. She will be there ministering LIVE on these topics and MORE. How about the ULTIMATE mom-time? Yep! Check out our Ultimate Homeschool Expo 2011! Cindy Rushton was the hostess of the Ultimate Homeschool Expo, the very first online homeschool convention, for 4 years. This year, she has passed the torch to her dear friend, Felice Gerwitz. Of course, Cindy will be joining her as a featured speaker for Ultimate Homeschool Expo 2011 AND as a special co-host for several sessions. Don’t miss what Felice is doing! She is recording Preview Chats right now for the 2011 Ultimate Homeschool Convention RIGHT NOW! Join her wonderful guests FREE as they count down to the Ultimate Homeschool Expo (May 2-6, 2010–BUT! NEVER ENDING because it is an ONLINE Convention!). Check out all of the details here: Ultimate Homeschool Expo 2011.