A Letter To A Newlywed…
From Danny and Lucia Claborn
This “article” has a bit of a story behind it. Lucia was sharing with me a while back about the precious “gift” that her church was preparing as a bridal gift for a young couple in their congregation. Each of the members were writing a “letter” to the couple. This letter SO blessed me that I begged for it to be added to this issue (isn’t it perfect?). I know you will enjoy Danny and Lucia’s wisdom.
Dear John and Jenyne,
What a blessed time in your lives! Everything is fresh and new with your relationship, as your two lives intertwine to become one. We encourage you to write down all of your sweetie’s positive qualities while they are still fresh and vibrant. If [when] the challenges come nad things are not quite as “fresh” as they are now, this will be a good reminder of each other’s strengths and positive attributes. John, your strengths will cover Jenyne’s weaknesses, and Jenyne, your strengths will cover John’s weaknesses. That’s part of God’s plan, too. Jenyne, although the world tells us women we are to compete with men in every area, God says you are not made to compete with John but to complete him. So, be understanding of each other’s differences and realize God has put you together to build-up and encourage each other to overcome these weaknesses.
As you encourage each other with the Word of God, add to this, two sets of simple words, that at time may be hard to get off the tip of your tongue, but have mighty results when you say them “first!!” Danny has always been such a wonderful example for me in this area. He always says, “I love you!” and “I’m sorry” knowing he is totally right and I’m in error. He’s shown me much unconditional love and I believe it has broken down walls for both of us. It’s the “unconditional” that speaks volumes to one’s heart.
Learn each other’s Love Language (The Five Love Languages: How to Express Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman) early in your marriage so you can avoid needless error and have a more fulfilling relationship. God put you together to enjoy each other totally. Keep your intimate times exciting yourself than your spouse! Make time for play as it will keep you young and relieve stress. Don’t let life get in a rut.
As the blending process of your lives begins; be reminded that you are not in this marriage alone. The Holy Spirit is your Helper and He will lead you and be with you every step you take. As you set goals for your marriage and your individual goals, ask Him to lead you where He wants you to go and into the things He wants you to do including the personal (alone/hobby) time you both require to strengthen your relationship. Keep your vision (dreams) alive after you write them down and by talking about them. As time passes, don’t let your dreams slide into some drawer and then forget about them. (Habakkuk 2: 2-3)
When God blesses your marriage with children, remember they are in your home for a brief time and after a few short years, it will be back to just the two of you. Continue to build your relationship through dates and quality time with each other so you will not grow apart during the intense parenting years.
Study the Bible and pray together as well as alone. Laugh a lot together and, of course, more at yourself than your spouse! Make time for play as it will keep you young and relieve stress. Don’t let life get in a rut.
Pamper yourself often as this show you love and respect yourself, enabling you to pour out of yourself onto your spouse. Honor each other with your actions and words. Submit to each other, and follow your heart. Remember the Christian heritage and legacy your parents have given you for it is phenomenal!!
God’s richest blessings! (“to bless” means “to empower; to prosper.” When you couple that definition of blessing with the dictionary definition of “prosper” as “to thrive; to experience favorable circumstances; to flourish; to turn out well,” you wind up with the word, “bless” meaning: to empower to thrive, experience favorable circumstances, flourish and turn out well.)
Danny and Lucia Claborn
Lucia lives in Alabama and is married to her (earthly) best friend, Danny. They have four children, Daniel, McKenzie, Emily and Katie.
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