Today I did what I said I’d NEVER do.
Well…I remember thinking in my godly little way that you would never catch ME dead doing that…
…so frivolous
…such a waste
…so SELFISH
…so superficial
…a total waste of time and money.
Well, has my opinion actually changed in 2 hours? I don’t think so. I think it was a slow fade over the past 7 years.
I have let one thing after the other go. And, all of the sudden I found myself there. Doing what I thought I would never, ever, ever do.
You would think that it would be hard to change a rock-solid gal. But, all it took today was a little suggestion from my daughter and without it being on my calendar, there I was doing the very thing that I had said that I would never, ever do!
Yep! I got a pedicure! The WHOLE THING! The whole wash my feet, massage my feet, sit in the massage chair, and chat with the gals pedicure!
I am SOLD!
My resolution? Well, it is not what you would think. It is that it is time to take better care of myself. Little things DO make a difference.
I am not saying that we should ever do what we cannot afford. I am not even saying that a pedicure might be YOUR THING. But, I am saying that it is about time that we all stop being a “Mommy Martyr” and start living!
I am soooo guilty of sticking to my plans. Not a bad thing. In fact, I write about it all the time. But, I work those lists. I get those things done. Somewhere along the way, I have to periodically have a “wake-up call” to remember that I need to take care of myself!
I want to live to see and enjoy my GRANDchildren…and, if the Lord tarries, my GREAT GRANDchildren. Reality says that if I am all work and no play, no exercise then I might not make it to that big dream. At minimum, what is it all worth if I have accomplished much and never lived along the way? Hummm…am I sounding like Ecclesiastes?
There is nothing noble about letting yourself go.
First, it is a bad picture to your children. Second, it is not a testimony to the world that will make the world want what we have. Going back to our children…
We are training up our children in the way that they should go. They are forming their beliefs and expectations of marriage, mothering, family, education, on and on. Thinking of that really gets me deep, deep.
I pray that Matthew has been trained to be a good husband and daddy. I pray that his expectations of marriage can be reasonable from being my son–that Jill can be a strong, successful woman without it being a threat to him. I pray that he looks forward to growing old with her. That he learns it is amazing from US.
I pray that Elisabeth lovingly embraces womanhood–all of it. I pray that every season of life that she is about to go through are exciting to her and she really LOVES every minute. I pray that she looks forward to being a godly wife…that she trusts God and welcomes little ones as soon as she can…that she balances all of her life so she can be a light to the world around her.
But, it all begins with ME!
I remember spending time with Harold’s grandmother. She was simply radiant. She was beatiful inside-out. She was a committed wife, mom, and homemaker. But, she made womanhood look BEAUTIFUL, ALLURING, PRECIOUS, and PRICELESS. She made me WANT what she had. She was a beautiful picture of godly womanhood.
Long before my hair turned grey, I looked forward to the beauty of growing older. My only wish was that my grey would be beautiful and that I would have HAPPY wrinkles–don’t like those wrinkles that make your face look like it is stuck sucking on a lemon (SORRY!)! There was never ONE THOUGHT of coloring my hair. I longed for growing into a godly woman.
I looked upon her life and watched her. I watched her flirt with her husband of 60+ years. In fact, one of my favorite memories was of her getting up off the couch and him giving her a “love-swat” on the bottom. CUTE! I wanted that! I wanted to be like they were when they sat around–they always sat holding hands and obviously having SOMETHING between them that was on fire after all of those years and all of the history that they had made together.
I watched Mamaw mother her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I learned sooo much about mothering just watching her love for them. It was amazing!
I also watched her balance sewing for others and ministering to those in her church and community and even strangers along the way.
I wonder if she knew how important her life was. I wonder if she realized that I was soaking in my greatest lessons of womanhood in the classroom of HOME and FAMILY.
As I think over her influence, I KNOW that I have got to do this LIVING thing well. I am training my children with the greatest lessons of their life–those that can’t be taught in a book or undone by counseling. They will GET the lessons that my life teaches. I sure do want to do it well.
What if we don’t do it well? What if we have so many other things that MUST be done?
Well, I have been there. Done that.
I dug my own pit. I about buried myself. What joy the enemy must have gotten. What a delight to see me go down into the pit of depression.
And…why was I there? I had gotten so godly that everything was frivolous…
…stopping to smell the rose–frivolous!
…getting off the plan for fun and giggles–frivolous!
…setting aside time to go on a nice date with my husband–frivolous!
…EVEN SLEEP–VERY FRIVOLOUS!!
I am no where near where I was 8 years ago, but today I realized that there are some fun things that I need to TRY and probably add to my calendar on a regular basis. Yep! A pedicure is ONE! 😀 There are some fun things that can bless me when I work hard. Just like there is a time to work, there IS a time to play! Today is the day! Fun IS OK…really ESSENTIAL!
I realized TODAY that I need to intentionally LIVE LOTS and work less! Now…look what we have started! 🙂
