You, Yes YOU, Called and Equipped to be a Godly Help Meet! by Cindy Rushton

Cindy2015The first introduction to the word “help meet” in the Bible is found in Genesis 2:18-25…

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

What a beautiful picture of God’s provision for man!

God had literally given Adam the whole world but He knew that was “not good” because man was still alone. So, in great provision, God created a “helpmeet” suitable for Adam. Not a helper to work in the garden for Adam so he could spend his days playing golf (or hunting!). Not a doormat to walk upon! Instead, God provided Adam with a “helpmeet,” with a very special purpose of being the completer of Adam!

What is a Helpmeet?

Help in its verb form means “to aid or supply that which the individual cannot provide for himself–conveying the idea of aiding someone in need.”

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines helper as “one who helps (gives assistance, strength, promotes, delivers from difficulties or distress, advances a purpose, relief, to contribute strength or means, aids or assists, furnishes or administers a remedy, one who supplies with anything wanted.”

Meet comes from the Hebrew word meaning,  “opposite… according to opposite of him, meaning that she will complement and correspond to him, she is to be equal to and adequate for the man.”

The meaning of this is also deepened in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, correspond: “to suit, to answer; to agree; to fit; to be adapted to; to be equal; to be adequate or proportioned.”

A Helpmeet is to provide what is needed or lacking. She is fit for her husband. She is suitable for him. She is adapted for him and she is adapted to him. She is compatible to him. God created her for his companion, his partner!

Look at the various ways that we come alongside our husbands as their helpmeet…

The Praying Helpmeet…

A helpmeet is marked by a life of prayer. She will pray for her man! I am not talking about a simple little “God bless him” prayers, I mean earnest, continual, unceasing prayer. Prayer with a burdened heart until you “pray through” for him. Committing to fast and pray for different needs in his life. So often, more time is spent grumbling and complaining about one fault in our husbands than we spend in prayer for them in a whole year! A helpmeet will be busy praying and fasting for her man.

Let’s do a check–up:
–>  Do you pray earnestly, continually, and unceasingly for him?
–>  When was the last time that you prayed about a problem of his until it was answered?
–>  Do you care enough about his struggles, his dreams, his concerns, and his desires to pray and fast for God’s answers?
–>  Do you take your concerns to the Lord or try to handle them yourself?
–>  Would your husband call you a woman of prayer?
–>  Can he depend on
you to be praying for him?

May we commit to become a praying help meet today!

The Supportive Help Meet…

A few years ago, my husband and I were talking about the needs of men as I was preparing for my book “Hidden Woman.” (Grab your copy here.) It was very interesting that his first response to the needs of men was that they needed three things…prayer, encouragement, and support.

Wow! He went on to share other things…which are the outline of this article (and the book) but he felt that he could not withstand the demands of his job in Law Enforcement or now the demands of his business if those three ingredients were not primary in our relationship.

I agree here on this one! Our husbands’ heartbeats must by our heartbeats. We must really believe in them when the going gets tough! We must purpose to stand beside him EVEN when we have a different plan, or shall I say, ESPECIALLY when we have a different plan. This support must be unconditional too–not based on our moods or their performance.

To check up on this area, ask yourself…
–>  Do you really care about things that are important to him (his job or hobbies or dreams or concerns or his heart’s desires)?
–>  Does your spirit motivate your husband to be the true leader in your marriage or do you just “take over” when you think he can’t do it himself?
–>  Do you trust in his ability to handle decisions and provide for ALL your needs?
–>  Does he know that you are on his side?
–>  Does he feel your support or does he feel all alone?

Oh, sweet friend! Purpose to be that support structure that he can lean upon as he walks his Christian walk!

The Help Meet Who Respects Her Husband…

The area of respect is the area in which many women unknowingly begin to hurt their husbands. As a result, many begin to destroy their own home in the process. Instead, let’s become like the Proverbs 31 woman and create even more respect for him! Proverbs 31: 23…”Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”
Respect for our husbands begins at home. They should be fully confident that we would never harm them with our tongues or attitudes. Trust me, if you ever say anything bad about your husband everyone will immediately get their little evil minds going and think 100 times worse than you are saying. Be real careful about this. Our husbands deserve our loyalty in this area. If others see that you honor and respect your husband, they will too.

OK, check yourself in this area…
–>  How do you speak to your husband?
–>  What about your attitude, what does it say?
–>  Do you roll your eyes…act disinterested in what he says…do you correct him the whole time he is talking?
–>  How do you speak about him…Praise? Complain? Whine? Admire?

Make it your ambition to be like the Proverbs 31 woman by creating respect for that darling man!

A Helpmeet Admires Her Man…

I heard a message not long ago by Denny Kenaston in which he said, “Every man should know what it is like to be a king! He ought to be a king in his own home!

Well, what is it like in your home…is your husband king? We ought to have our days wrapped around things which bless him. We should admire Him exceedingly. Esteem him. Respect him highly. We will get much, much farther with our husbands with admiration than with nagging, comparing, complaining or whining. We will find them drawing near to us as we treat them with the respect that God created them to need.

Yes, God wants our marriages to be a picture of the church’s relationship with King Jesus.

So, how are you doing…
–>  Is your husband the “King of His Castle?”
–>  Do your actions and words show admiration, esteem, and respect?
–>  Do you stop what you are doing to listen to him?
–>  Do you create an atmosphere of excitement about Dad coming home?
–>  Do you treat him like you would KING JESUS?

The Love of a Help Meet…

I know, I have finally gotten to a “given” with this point…of course, we LOVE our husbands? RIGHT? Well, I am afraid if it were always that easy the Bible would not have commanded that the older women teach the younger women HOW to love their husbands. We must learn how to really love our husbands.

True love is loving them unconditionally–EVEN when they do not perform as we might want. It is pouring our whole life into him–making HIM great. Honoring his wishes. Pouring our whole life into loving him. Oh, how much tougher–it will take purifying our hearts to fill this great need.

I Peter 3 says that it is the conversation, manner of our life, that will win them over. This requires that we focus on KNOWING God, becoming conformed to the image of Christ, and becoming holy. As we purify our hearts, we will find his heart changing into a heart seeking after us!

What about it dear friends? How are you doing?
–>  Do you miss him while he is away?
–>  Do you willingly do what he asks?
–>  Do you honor his wishes even when he would never know?
–>  Do you revolve your life around him?
–>  Do you love unconditionally?
–>  Is your heart pure?
–>  Are you purposing become like Christ or are you too busy trying to help God conform your husband to your standard of LIKE CHRIST?

Let’s purpose to become our husband’s helpmeet by surrendering ALL to God…waiting on God to do the work necessary in our husband’s lives…becoming our husbands’ friend as they step heavenward…never slipping into the flesh by trying to MAKE our husbands into our idea of what God wants!

The Encouragement of a Help Meet…

This was another one of those biggies that my husband shared with me that was vital for him to be successful. I have to agree. Boy, this one is important!

I see those fears that no one else sees. I see those struggles that no one else could ever imagine were there. I feel the pain that is just quietly aching. That is why God gave me that extra dose of encouragement just to help him!
Your husbands are no different! Let’s encourage them to fulfill their goals, to reach for their dreams, and to go where God is leading. Let us be faithful to encourage them with our prayers and let them know that we have been praying for him. Let’s seek God for HIS WORD for them and encourage them with scripture. It is always a blessing to get a copy of the scripture that God has given you to encourage him. Psalm 37 was a special gem that God gave me when my husband was going through a very difficult time. It was an encouragement to know just how God sees things and how He works! This is so encouraging for our husbands when they know that we care enough to go to God on their behalf, to seek God’s Word of encouragement just for them. It really shows them that their struggles are our struggles. As you see him struggle, write notes of encouragement or even love letters about his strengths that you admire.   Let him know that you are with him, cheering him on all along the way. And, never underestimate the power of hugs! They are always an encouragement!

So, how do you do in this area?
–>  Are you praying for your husband’s struggles?
–>  Are you God’s vessel of encouragement for your husband?
–>  Do you share special gems from scripture with your husband?
–>  Does your husband ever hear what you like about him?
–>  What does your husband think of when he thinks of you–she is happy to be my wife, she has faith in me, she needs me, or she would rather do her own thing, she doesn’t have to have me, all I am is a paycheck…I can’t please her?

The Helpmeet Promotes Her Man…

What is the real difference between the feminist and the Christian Help Meet? I think it is WHO is built up and promoted.

The help meet can get her fulfillment in God’s design for her life–His purpose. The help meet doesn’t have to strive to promote herself, her rights, and her own life. She can relax, trust God, and forward her husband. She can dare to advance her husband. Contribute to his growth, enlargement, or excellence. She values him. She exalts him. She elevates him. She raises him up before herself.

How are you doing?
–>  Which are you busy promoting…yourself? The kids? Or you’re darling husband?
–>  Are you willing to take the back seat as you forward and advance your husband’s call?
–>  Are you willing to set aside all your own dreams to help him pursue his?
–>  Are you ready to change your plans to go along with his?
–>  Are you willing to pour all of your gifts, strengths, wisdom, etc…ALL into pushing him into the front?
–>  Are you willing to be a hidden woman?

The Helpmeet Affirms Her Man…

Have you ever-paid attention to men? I think that they all have a great need to have that one person who affirms their manhood–their leadership abilities, their masculinity, their sexuality.

Be the one to comfort any of your man’s insecurities. Let him be your hero. Let him know that no one else can take his place. Make him firm- steady, fixed, constant, stable, unshaken, not easily moved, solid, not giving way.

Establish Him as a leader. To establish is to settle or fix what is wavering, doubtful or weak, to make good. Submission will establish him. Through your submission, he will take leadership and will be strong, unwavering, sure, and strong. Affirm him by being loyal to him. Be loyal even when he makes mistakes, when he is facing difficulties, when he is suffering, when he is excited.

How well do you affirm your husband?
–>  Does he know that you appreciate him as a man?
–>  Does he believe that you cannot live without him?
–>  Do you really need him?
–>  Are you encouraging his leadership? –>  Are you surrendered to his leadership?
–>  Are you loyal to him?

The Inspirational Help Meet…

Our husbands need for us to believe in them and inspire them to go for their dreams. They need for us to inspire them to absolute greatness. Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines inspire as “the infusion of ideas or direction.” This definition helps us to see our role very seriously.

We should be encouraging them to have ideas, goals, and dreams. We should be the first one to encourage and embrace his ideas, goals, and dreams. Sweet friend, have a vision for all that God calls him to do. Often this is the little spark that they need to really know that they can do what they dream of doing.

How do you know if you are doing OK in this area?
–>  Do you believe that your husband is really great?
–>  Can God use you to share direction with your husband?
–>  Do you encourage your
husband to have ideas, goals, and dreams?
–>  Do you lovingly embrace his ideas or beat him down?
–>  Have you ever really seen God’s Vision for your husband’s life?

Why not create that spark?

The Challenge of a Help Meet…

In so many marriages the only challenge that a man might get is when he is doing something he believes in and the wife does not like it! Yuck! I am not talking about that being the kind of challenge of a godly helpmeet. A godly helpmeet can challenge her husband spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Take a peek at 1 Peter 3:1-2…

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (manner of life!) of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

Yes, this kind of challenge spiritually is not the nagging, fussing, complaining, whining, bossing that so many women use to BE the Holy Spirit for their husbands. Instead, it is becoming godly yourself, allowing him time to spend alone with God without becoming jealous, and letting GOD deal with any disobedience in your husband’s life. This means that we dare to be the REAL DEAL. It means that our faith inspires them to step heavenward. It means that instead of being a stumbling block for them, we become a stepping stone–being that person that inspires them to grasp on to all that Christ died to give them.

The mental challenge comes in as we purpose to know our husbands. Not just know about them, but this means getting to KNOW them. Becoming a student of them and their life. This includes getting to know what he does for a living so that you can understand his job/business AND so you can understand his struggles along the way. This means taking interest in his hobbies enough to “talk” about them. It means that we get to know about current events so we can carry on a decent conversation with them. This means staying sharp!

The physical challenge comes as we challenge them to stay fit and healthy. We influence their health in so many ways–in what we prepare for them to eat, in how active we stay as a family, and in making time and priority as a family to hit the gym. We can make it easy OR very, very difficult for them to stay fit and healthy. Our call is to challenge them to stay fit and healthy.

What kind of challenge are you?
–>  Do you challenge him to be godly or do you chase him away from God?
–>  Do you keep yourself so close to God so he can respect your godliness?
–>  Do you know about things he is interested in?
–>  Are you stimulating?

The Honor of a Help Meet…

I will never forget the influence of my husband’s grandmother who became my best friend until she died. Her marriage relationship was a model of what I believe God wants for us in our homes. She was an honor to her husband. Others would make demands of her but it was Papaw’s wishes she always honored in spite of her desire. It may have been actually her fault that these Rushton men are so spoiled because she showered her husband with attention and all these guys think that all women should do the same. 🙂 I watched her and began to see a model of honor that we could all follow. Her honor for her husband set her marriage apart.

Create excitement about them. Wrap your day around them. Do special things-bake cookies, etc. to surprise Daddy. Pray for him with your children- for his safety, his courage, his ability to minister to others, for his wisdom in making decisions, for his health, etc. Lift  up your husband before others–especially your children and other young women!

Remember Titus 2:3-5? You cannot teach others to honor and love their husbands any better way than by your example. It is an ornament for you to honor him with your words and attitudes and actions. It is SO UGLY for you to tear him down and that is SO easy to do. Remember that honor is not based on performance but on position. Treat him like you would treat Jesus. Our homes hurt from a lack of honor. Satan chips away at the home and the man when we talk about them or rebel against them-THIS IS A LINE TO NEVER CROSS!

What about the area of honor?
–>  Are you honoring your husband as you would Christ?
–>  Are his wishes priorities?
–>  Do you create an excitement over his homecoming each day?
–>  Are you doing the little things that build HIM up?
–>  Are you wrapping everything around him?
–>  Are you being a good example for your children and other young women?

–>  Are you watching your attitude so that it does not communicate something different than what you deep-down desire?

A Challenge…

Sweet friend, I know that this article is a lot of heart surgery but where are you? How are you doing?

You are so priceless. You are so vital. Your husband NEEDS you.  Your husband needs for you to be ALL THERE.

How are you doing? Are you so busy doing everything else that you can not take the time for your sweetheart? Are you recognizing the need to build that relationship?

The good news is that God is more than willing to do that work in your life, in your marriage. He has created and equipped you to be a godly helpmeet. Today, step up to that call. You have an incredible journey ahead–I will be cheering you on all along the way!

Need more help? Don’t miss our Marriage 911 Flight Plans! Each month, we come alongside of you with a “plan” for helping you build a passionate, forever, happier-and-happier-ever-after marriage. Check out all of the details here: CLICK HERE

Let’s Make a Memory…Over Tea! by Cindy Rushton

Cindy2015A cup of tea???

Tea…What comes to your mind?

As I think back over the years since that first cup of tea, I think beyond the various types of tea…the beautiful tea rooms and homes that have welcomed me for the ritual…the unique cups and teapots, each with its own story…all those details blur. But, one thing brings me back to “tea” over and over again…relationships! Relationships forged over moments shared over a cup of tea. Sweet, sweet memories that forge forever relationships.

My very first memories of tea were on the front porch, truly Southern Style with Iced Sweet Tea. There was never a meal served or a family gathering without plenty of Iced Sweet Tea. Just visiting Mamaw, I could always expect a big, tall glass of Sweet Lemon Tea whether we were working in her kitchen or swinging on the front porch enjoying her flowers and sweet conversation.

My very first cup of hot tea was typical Southern Style as well. At the end of my first year of homeschooling, I spent a wonderful day with a dear fellow homeschooler. We were preparing dresses for her to hand-smock for her youngest little girl. Her precious pre-teen came in mid-afternoon to ask if we would care for any tea. Being the TRUE Southerner that never passes up a great cup of tea, I said, “Sure!” She went on preparing tea, as was usual in her home. When she brought it out, I had to ask for directions on how to “take tea.” That moment my true love for tea was born!

Since that moment, I have developed a true passion for ANYTHING to do with tea of ANY kind! I love the different types of tea. I love the books that all share little tidbits about the fine art of tea. I love collectables that each have a story to make them more and more endearing. I love the recipes for goodies that make a nice addition to ANY day. I love the versatility of tea for all ages, all settings, all occasions. Want to see me in pure bliss? Take me to a tea room! But, most of all, I love the many sweet, sweet relationships and precious memories that have been forged over cups of tea, both hot and cold!

Tea truly meets us right where we are. If we love to collect antiques, we can’t help but to fall in love with the little dainties that are hidden away in all of the antique stores around. If we are looking for a healthy treat, none can be greater than tea! If we want to take a moment away with our children to build relationships and memories, tea is a must! If we want a perfect touch to a holiday, tea makes the day. If we want a theme for a party, tea always step forward with its touch of femininity. If we just want to minister to a friend or relative, tea ministers to their belly while “we” pour forth into their heart!

My prayer is that you will see the beauty, grace, encouragement, tradition, and fun that is awaiting you. I pray that you will find that touch of tea. I pray that you will make sweet memories with those you love the most, over a cup of tea.

So, my friend, do you hear the call beckoning to you? Take a moment, pour a hot steamy cup and come apart with me…

…it is time to make a memory over a cup of tea!

With Love, Cindy

“You prepare a table before me…my cup runs over.”
Psalms 23: 5 Amplified Bible

Ready for Tea? Let Cindy Help! Grab her best-selling book, A CUP OF TEA. Includes her easy recipes and fresh ideas for your tea-time!

A Cup of Tea
Ready for a cup of tea? Do you just LOVE tea?? This NEW book was a blast for Cindy to write. She wrote this book as a gift to Elisabeth, her daughter so she would have all of the “Family” recipes and ideas that have been part of their family traditions. Now, this is available for you and your family as well! If you are intrigued by tea and want to bring the tradition into your home, this is your book. If you want lots of recipes and ideas for tea time or even a tea unit study, this book is just what you are looking for. Even if you are looking for that perfect gift idea, this is one that you will find perfect for anyone, any age, at any time of the year.

Quick Tips For the Perpetually Late, Disorganized, Stressed Out Mom! By Cindy Rushton

Cindy2015Does this SPEAK to you?  Nothing is more frustrating than great intentions but failure with the time management, organization, and gentle spirit thing!  So, what can REALLY help? Need a bit of hope?  Practical ideas? Well, beloved, here are a few tips that have made a world of difference for me:

–>    Be sure to slow down and have a quiet time EACH DAY! Take time for God to fill YOUR cup each day. Let Him give you HIS peace, order, and best of all, schedule!  Take time to hear HIS plans for your day.  Throughout the day, listen to His gentle direction.  Be sure that you are willing to let go of the things that God wants to prune away. Without this, all else is only a band-aid!

–>    Invest in a Planner! I am the world’s worst at trying to do it all while trying desperately to remember those incredible details that are doomed to slip my brain! I decided to take a long, honest look at the things that were creating chaos. Most often, the biggest culprit was overcommitment or an underestimate of time involved with commitments. Writing down ALL commitments, along with an honest look at the time commitment involved [Read more…]

Reach for Your Dreams THIS YEAR!

Cindy2015Hello Sweet Friends!

How is your Saturday going? It is STUNNING here in North Alabama. Elisabeth and I got away for a breakfast out this morning. Matthew called to let me know that he had finished his 10K first place in his age division. And, my hubby just called to let me know how well he did shooting with his buddies today. Now, I am covered up with napping puppies and snagging a few moments on the computer. I like it! [Read more…]

It’s a Legacy! by Cindy Rushton

Yesterday, we welcomed our precious Joshua Edwin Rushton into the world!

As I looked at him for the first time I finally GOT that verse in Proverbs 17:6:

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6)

We can have everything in the world–all of the stuff, all of the accomplishments, all of the possessions–everything. Yet, when the music fades and all is stripped away, only a few things really matter.

I have lived a life that has been sooo blessed. God has blessed me with so many amazing blessings. I cannot think that the cost for those blessings has been a big sacrifice for me when God has even made that EASY! 🙂 All He has required is that I obey Him and offer my life as a daily sacrifice, doing what HE asks. How hard is that? Especially, when I look at the abundant and lavish blessings that just chase me down.

Yes. I have been blessed in so many areas of my life:

1. Yes, I have had a wonderful marriage. This year we celebrate 25 years of marriage. Talk about an awesome blessing!

2. Yes, I have two amazing children here on earth and 7 in heaven. I could not be MORE blessed by their lives. Every moment of being a mom has been a treasure.

3. Yes, I have been blessed by success. I have written over 100 books, taught all around the country, ran a wonderful business (well, how hard is that when your business is all about connecting with wonderful FRIENDS???), and achieved almost everything I have ever set out to achieve.

We have been blessed in

…and anything we could ever want.

Yesterday, I saw the realization of my “crown.” One that I will carry all of the way into eternity. I am overcome by the beauty of legacy!

I know that I have taught for years about how vital it is for us to KNOW that we are building a HOME and that home is our legacy. I THOUGHT I had GOT IT through the years, but as I held my precious Joshua, my first GRANDchild, I realized it in a deeper level.

Everything is about our legacy! EVERYTHING! E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!

Our legacy is the only earthly treasure that we can carry with us into eternity. It is ETERNAL. Soak that in, dear friend!

Yes, we can go back into Scripture and see that every woman has a legacy. It is what summed up their lives. It is what passed down into the next generation and the next and the next and the next…all the way to us.

It is the ONE THING that was accomplished by their lives. Good or bad, every one of us passes on a legacy that goes on through generations that we may not see and into parts of their lives and all of the lives that they touch. It goes on into eternity–forever and forever.

I am sure that after I die, people will forget the words that I wrote. In fact, it cracks me up when people already forget the things that God gave me to write first–guess we all need to eat “humble-pie” from time to time. 🙂

I already know that when I look back over my life and all that I do and accomplish that the things that I DO have a tendency to look like a beach full of sand–each “to-do” as distinquishable as a grain of sand and all of the “to-do’s” piling up like a beach full of sand. Funny thing, I have a tendency to LOVE those things to do and pour myself into my precious “to-do’s” like a little child intent on building a sand-castle. I KNOW that all of those to-do’s can matter in life, but I also know that there is nothing like the waves rolling in and quickly washing away those “sand-castles.” Again, nothing is quite like seeing how everything is but a vapor. Everything just goes back into the everyday-ness of life.

But, my legacy lives on!

I don’t know if words are sufficient today. I hope that I am making sense to you guys. I LOVE MY LIFE. I am really picky about the things that I DO. I know that this life comes by only once. I don’t want to waste even ONE MOMENT doing something that is not going to count, much less something that is not right. I know that I will not even be RIGHT HERE again. I want to live each moment to the fullest and make my Abba Papa proud of me. I want to bring Him glory and honor. But, this is even MORE….


We are here for so much more than we can ever imagine. OUR LIVES COUNT!

Soak that in…

Every choice that we make affects more than just ourselves or those that we see. There are multitudes coming behind us that NEED for us to be ALL THERE today, making every moment count.

As I look into the sweet face of our little Joshua, I can already see how important everything HAS been. As he looks at me, I feel the immense call rising up yet again–Cindy, BUILD YOUR LEGACY!

I am re-committed. Will you join me dear friends? Let’s build a legacy–a godly legacy!

Cindy2015Need MORE Help?

If you need more help, don’t miss any of Cindy Rushton’s LIVE workshops that she will be teaching on these topics. She is scheduled to speak for many conventions, conferences, retreats, and Bible Studies. If you want for her to come to your area, message here today at