Build Your Marriage by Cindy Rushton

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

Building your marriage? Is it on the back-burner? Busy with the children and the house and homeschooling and working in your business? Just dropping at the end of the day with nothing left over?

I am not trying to give you another thing to do with your busy day. Rather, we need to get back to God’s design for the godly home. Take a peek at this passage from 1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

“The woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

Our number one priority after our relationship with God is our marriage. We are created to be a helpmeet. Not a small thing! Not an extra thing. It is absolutely essential.

I have gone through entire years of focusing on different roles that I must fulfill to the detriment of my main calling—to be a wife.

I remember the first year of homeschooling my children. As the last days of the school-year rolled around I realized that in my enthusiasm of turning my heart back home toward my children and really enjoying motherhood to the fullest, I had not nurtured my marriage as I should have! Days had gone by where both of us were so busy with our other roles that we had very little time, much less energy, to connect. The year just flew by with very little focus on building our marriage. Ever found yourself like this?

There are so many different facets of womanhood. We constantly juggle so many roles. It is so easy to get so wrapped up in one area that we lose sight of all of the others!

Our main calling, first and foremost, as women is to the awesome role as a helpmeet for our husbands. We are to bring glory to our husbands so they may in turn bring glory to God.

Isn’t this beautiful? We are those hidden women who reflect all of the glory back to our husbands…who build up our husbands and promote THEM…who do all that we do to help them subdue and have dominion over the world!

Where there is a beautiful marriage, all else falls into place. Two become one. There is security, stability, and a good model of biblical priorities in the lives of the children. There is a ministry to the world. This is the means that there is glory reflected from the family and the marriage. In turn, this glory magnifies God to our culture. Others see God’s perfect plan for man and woman! There is hope. There is abundant life.

The catch here is that beautiful marriages do not just happen. It takes work. Hard work. It takes commitment. Years of commitment. It takes priority. Intentional priorities.

Want a great marriage? Build your home! Build your marriage. Have no idea where to begin? Let me help. Have a good marriage? A good carpenter always looks for new tools. A good carpenter never thinks he is done. He keeps on building. Marriage is teh same way! Let me share a few tools that will make your good marriage even better–or, prayerfully the very best. Ready? Dig in with me…

–> Always build! We don’t have an option. We must intentionally build our marriages or they will fall apart around us. We must be intentional about what we do. Our marriages need to be on our calendar. Our marriages need to be on our daily to-do list. Don’t shove them to the back of everything. The benefits flow to everything and everyone else. So, build your marriage.

–> Don’t hold anything back! Give your all–all your gifts, talents, bents, knowledge, understanding, and wisdom! Be a real helper to your husband! Give him assistance during the tough times. Protect his heart and his name. Step in the gap and pray hedges of protection around him in all that he sets forth to do. Adapt yourself and your whole life to him—to God’s plan for him. Wrap your life around his with the intention to make him great. To bless him. to bring him glory. After all, as you bring him glory, he reflects glory to Jesus, Who reflects glory to our Heavenly Father. It all beings with you. Don’t hold anything back. Pour it all out!

–> Be his best friend! Do the little things to build your friendship. Take time to just enjoy him. Take time to LISTEN. Take time to enjoy the things that he enjoys. Look for ways to pal around. Develop a close, intimate friendship with your very best friend!

–> When in doubt, die to your ways and your ideas and your plans! OUCH! Decide now that you will live your whole life as your husband’s chief support. Only when we die to SELF can we really have an abundant, lavish life. Be the one who gives him that respect that he needs. Be the one who knows all that he is and yet still admires him more than even his little 2-year-old boy! Be the one who loves him unconditionally, enough to give up all life could possibly offer you to build him up! Die to all you had in mind for your life and commit to promote him. Watch what God does when you take that first step!

–> Contribute to his growth, his enlargement, his excellence! Patiently nurture him and encourage him to develop interests (Bible Study, SWAT team, metal detecting, sailing, email–He needs down time too!) that will help him to re-fuel, re-charge, and become strong. Beautiful, forever marriages all have several key elements. One of the most important is embracing change and growth, encouraging each other to expand, keep learning, keep growing, and helping each other press on toward big dreams together. It knits you together in a forever love story!

–> Affirm your man and his manhood—get excited about his leadership, his masculinity, his sexuality, his work! Reassure any insecurities! Enjoy his masculinity. God created him to fill your gaps. ENJOY that rather than despising it. Yes, so often we get frustrated, exasperated, and despise the differences between man and woman. Such a contrast to God’s plan. God wants for us to enjoy our differences. He wants for us to affirm one another. Ask God to help you enjoy your husband and all of the blessings that he brings into your life. Why not begin a list of things that your husband does to provide, protect, and lead you? Keep that list going. When you find yourself struggling with the differences, take time to dwell on your list. It will change your perspective and help you to build your marriage.

–> Be the one person who always believes in him. Be the one person who always has total confidence in him. Inspire him to greatness! Encourage him dream big and go for his dreams. Have vision for all God wants to do in his life. Encourage him. Be his teammate as he works toward that calling. Relieve him where he needs relief—where can you come alongside to help him??

–> See a weakness? Of course, you will. That is part of becoming intimate and real with one another. The question is what do we do when we see a weakness? Do we point it out? Nag them about it? Ask our friends to PRAY for him? Worry? Fret? Fear the future? OR…Do we come alongside of them and offer them strength, back-up, support? Do we take it all to got in intercession with prayer and fasting? Do we jump in and give them inspiration and encourage them. How do we respond when we see their struggles? It makes a world of difference! One choice builds our homes. Another choice destroys our home. Cry out to God on their behalf. Find ways to make it easier for them, any way you can. Help them succeed! Love them in their weaknesses and struggles. Be joyful and positive, always uplifting and encouraging! Let God supply your needs, not your husband, things will relax…you may change your heart! At minimum, you will be building your home instead of tearing it down with your own hands.

Sweet friend, will you build? Will you build a godly, forever marriage?

Decide now to pour yourself into your husband! Build your marriage! Let the little things go so that you have time to get to know your husband, so you will have time to minister to him in little ways. Take that time for the relationship and you will find that all else will fall into place! Invest your best into your home. You are building a home, a marriage, a godly legacy!

Oh, wise woman, BUILD your home!

Take Time to Write EVERYTHING Down!

What do you want for this year? Think for a moment with me… Next year, this time, what do you want to see different in your life? What would you like to see finished? What would you like to see accomplished this year?

Dear friend, this year is the year of fullness. I have committed to make this year a year of commitment, accomplishment, and productivity. Want to make this year the very best ever too? Let’s find some keys to productivity. Let’s dig in and get moving strong. Ready? Well, today let’s look at one of my biggest keys to productivity…

Take time to write EVERYTHING down!

Talk about a key to productivity! If there were one thing that I really believe makes the difference in my own productivity, it is this one discipline. I know, I know what you may be thinking…

“But, Cindy, I write things down and that is as far as they go.”

or

“I write things down, but then I can’t find it again.”

or

“I get too overwhelmed when I see ALL that needs to be done.”

Oh! You are going to love this, beloved! Let me take you by the hand and show you how to make this work for you. It is soooo important. You see there are some secrets that productive people have. Want a few?

1. They have ONE PLACE to write things down. Now, this does not mean that it you will have only one place forever and ever. Let me give you an example from how this looks for me. I always have my “Little Black Book” in my purse. No, not for phone numbers of old beaus–I am married to the ULTIMATE beau! 🙂  Rather, I invest in one small notebook that is small enough to carry everywhere I go, yet big enough to hold my goals, lists of steps to reach those goals, brainstorms, etc. This is SO IMPORTANT! Invest in ONE notebook as YOUR “brain” for this year.

2. They take time to pull aside and “brain-dump.” Yes, you read correctly. Want a secret to productivity? This one will make sense as you pull it all together. Yes, dump your brain regularly. Actually, take some time to dump out everything in your brain now–all of those things that need to be done, all of those things you wish for, all of those things that you want to do, but cannot find time to do. Dump it all into your “little black book.” As little things come across your mind, dump them. That will be your “place” for every idea, hope, dream, goal, to-do, and wish to all be dumped off of your brain and “kept” for you. Wondering why this is a secret to productivity? Glad you asked! The leading hindrance for most people is the stress of having to remember or not forget details. This distracts. This takes the focus from what you need to be doing. Actually, this contributes to forgetting what needs to be done in the task you are doing at the moment, causing things to take longer than they should. Not to mention, we are much, much less likely to ever do things that float in our head as well-wishes. Instead, dump it all in a safe place–your very own “Little Black Book.”

3. They plan. They plan yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily. You probably know this. However, do you know how to make it work? This is an essential!  Here is how I do it.

Every year, I plan a nice Mommy Getaway to really evaluate and plan out the next year. I cannot express how much of a difference this makes for me. I am not talking about putting every day on the calendar. I am talking about sketching out the events of the year and planning my projects for my home, business, family, and myself. I PENCIL in my yearly plans. I also spend time brain-dumping anything that may be floating in my brain. I love this time. It helps to give me a grasp on my year and get in gear.

Of course, this is not enough. Each month, I pull back for an afternoon or weekend to plan out my month. I go back to my yearly plan and pray over what REALLY needs to be on my calendar. Once the final projects and events are chosen, I brainstorm all that needs to be done (all of the things to do) for that project to be completed. Now, do note that because I have “my place” for brainstorming, my little black book, I can brainstorm as things come to mind all along the way. This makes that monthly planning very easy.

Another thing that helps me along the way are my checklists for common projects–like all of the things to do to finish a book or an audio set or prepare a seminar. I have done those things so many times that I have developed checklists so I remember each step that needs to be done to get everything ready. Same thing for my holiday meals or other home projects. Talk about a time saver. Well, wondering what you do with those? I take those and put them on my monthly calendar at a good pace to get things done incrementally.

Each week I make sure that everything is done for the week before and take a good look at what will be done the following week. If I need any supplies, I pick them up over the weekend so I am ready to go each day-nothing can mess up your schedule like missing what you really need to get things done.

Finally, every day, I plan the night before. I end each day going over my daily list of things to do. Any of the the tasks that did not get done for the day are moved to the following day’s list. I also plan in the next steps and make sure that everything is ready to go when I wake up. I get SO much more done when I have a clear picture of all that needs to be done before the day begins. Want a key to productivity? PLAN!

4. Work your plan! Finally, want to know the difference between writing things down, having the perfect plans, and getting things done? This is it! Productive people work their plans! This means that we don’t just write things down. But, we also have a plan for working the plan. This is the bottom line that determines whether we are productive or not. So, how on earth do you do this one? A few quick tips:

–>  Keep your planner WITH YOU! Keep it out and keep it with you. I have a small daytimer that I can carry with me all of the time. All of my important information is WITH ME all the time.

–>  Set up your planner to work with YOUR LIFE. My daily things to do probably look very, very different from yours. What I need in my binder is different today than last year. One key that really made a big difference for me was when I finally set up my binder with forms that *I* needed. In fact, that is the story behind our Make Your Own Brain-in-a-Binder that I developed for my own planner. I always buy a nice binder and throw out anything that does not work with my life. Then, I print out pages that help me to put all of the things I need in one place. I use my planner all day long every single day. It goes everywhere with me. The key was in setting up my planner to work with MY life and all of the things that I do each and every day.

–>  USE IT! Nothing helps me more than having my binder out first thing in the morning over my Quiet Time (to pray over my day)…sitting out in the family room all day…going back over all of the things to do all throughout the day (after each task)…going back over my day as I wrap up the evening…AND most of all, planning the next day right before I go to bed so everything is ready to get going the next day. USE that planner. Watch to see the difference!

Yes! Write things down. Make that time. It will make a HUGE difference in your productivity. It will help you to get a plan for reaching for those dreams.

So, what do you think?

Ready to make this year the very best ever? Want to make this year the most productive year ever? Why not take time today to write everything down? Why not begin today to put those dreams on your to-do list, bit-by-bit, day-by-day?

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Need help organizing?? Let us help! Grab Cindy’s Make Your Own Brain-in-a-Binder today. She will walk you step by step through the process toward getting organized! You will love it!